So after our guest post from the fabulous ladies at Forever YA , contributor PoshDeluxe (seriously how cute is she?) challenged me to read the Jessica Darling series of books so I could know the panty scorching hotness of one Marcus Flutie. I am highly suggestible so I have now read Sloppy Firsts and I’m here with my book report!
First of all I will say that these books are very very good and a fun read but I’m so torn about the protagonist. Jessica Darling is funny and caustic and all that good stuff but she’s also an asshole. I’m not sure if I like this because it makes her a real teenager (who let’s face it are usually at least a little jerky) or if I want to shake her.
So the books start off with Jessica’s best friend Hope moving leaving her with her long-time group of friends that she secretly hates called the clueless crew. The CC are straight from central casting, you have the smart one (Jessica), the pretty one (bridgit) and then there’s the ho (manda). The slut-shaming of Manda that Jessica engages in is enough to give anyone high school PTSD flash backs. To wit by page TEN of book 1 we get this:
Manda thinks that reading feminist manifestos makes up for her borderline ho-bag behavior. I’m pretty sure that’s why she wears Poindexter glasses instead of contacts so she seems less sexual and more intellectual. She’s not fooling anyone, though. Hope and I call her the Kissing Slut because she’d made out with 31 different guys by her fifteenth birthday. That’s when she decided it was time to move on to manual stimulation, so we christened her Lend-A-Hand-A-Manda. And when she turned sixteen, well let’s just say she earned the title The Headmaster.
Ok, seriously Jessica? Fuck you. Why is it your business who, when and how often someone hooks up? Keeping a running tally of your friend’s kissing partners is pathetic to say the least. Also, I see nothing incompatible with being sexually active, an intellectual and a feminist. Me in own poindexter glasses are giving you some serious side-eye lady.
What’s even more ironic about Jessica’s slut shaming is how much she thinks about having “hot buttered sex” with various guys. Now this was actually something that I loved in the books: the acknowledgment that young girls have sexual desires and don’t just dream about holding hands and sharing a milkshake with their crush objects. So you know I gotta ask Jessica are you just jealous? Also ironic is how much Jessica bitches about how her friends are bad friends while she writes shit like that and also once composed a song with Hope about another friend’s cellulite. Uh pot? Meet kettle.
Ok so then we get to Marcus Flutie. I should preface by saying I have no interest in bad boys it’s just not my thing. I was never a Tim Riggins kind of girl, I’m strictly Team Matt Saracen (just being a good boy caring from his gramma working hard….(sorry I’m tearing up)).
So when Marcus Flutie comes on the scene and is described as having red dreads, baggy pants, a Chinese character tattoo and such I was like “meh.” But then he calls Jessica on her shit like whoa and suddenly I was like “there may be some potential here.” Then he cut the dreads off and started wearing some prepster gear to fuck with The Man, and I was like “hmmm smartassed ginger in a tie? I’m in”
So then Marcus and Jessica start to hit it off and develop a friendship that defies all the rules of the Cafeteria. The bad boy and the brainiac? Believe it. I also loved how the relationship starts off platonic. While Jessica totes wants to sex Ewen, he’s learning how to have a nonsexual relationship with a woman and that’s a refreshing change from most boy-meets-girl romantic comedy type stories. Of course if you’re a girl who is always the friend who’s a girl and never the girlfriend you might find this plot point infuriating.
But maintain hope because naughty things ensue!
So all in all I want to unequivocally love these books but seriously Jessica? Take the stick out of your ass.
i’m cute! i’m cute! you think i’m CUUUUUUTE!!!
is it weird to quote the stop motion rudolph the red-nosed reindeer movie? anyhoo.
yay i’m so glad you liked the book! hopefully you’re planning on reading the whole series, because i think you’ll see jessica grow up and, well, remove that stick.
and just for the record, i love matt saracen too. if his grandma dies during this last season I WILL CUT SOMEONE.
poshdeluxe(Quote)
I love that Jessica is an asshole. It makes her human and as Posh says she actually grows out of it (partly). + she’s insanely funny.
Andrea(Quote)